Would you put your brain in a robot body?

You’d have the strength of five gorillas!

Timothy J Sullivan asks: Why is it that Minneapolis in the summer is so damn hot, but in the winter, totally opposite?

That’s because summer is hot and winter is cold. Duh.

Soda Man asks: If you love Firefox so much - and you do - why is it that all your apostrophes show up as question marks in black dimonds on Firefox? Is it because you love Firefox but Firefox doesn’t love you? How could that possibly be?

Haha. This question no longer applies because my site died and is back in zombie form. Look out!

Womanlovah asks: What do you call a woman with black hair? You have your blondes and your redheads and your brunettes, but what do you call black-haired women? Jets? Ravenheads? And Blackheads just sounds mean…

You call that woman a black-haired woman.

If you have a question you would like answered, send an email to me at megashaun@gmail.com. Please allow up to one month for it to be answered.

Shannon asks: Is it safe to flush clumping cat litter down the toilet?

Contrary to popular belief, it is COMPLETELY safe¹ to flush ANYTHING YOU WANT² into a toilet. Even items that you think would not even fit in the bowl. Toilets utilize a highly secretive technology that doesn’t even have a pronounceable name. But for discussion’s sake, we will call it the Black Hole/Wormhole phenomenon. When you flush a toilet, it temporarily opens a space/time portal (or wormhole) to another dimension. The contents of the bowl are then sucked by vacuous force right out into that dimension and the wormhole is quickly closed. It is therefore PERFECTLY SAFE³ to flush clumping cat litter down the toilet!

1 - Or not.
2 - As long as it’s human waste or toilet paper.
3 - As long as you have a wormhole toilet and not the regular kind.

Shauna do ya wanna asks: How do I find out who received honourable mentions/runner-up status in the Toronto Star’s short story competition? They still have last year’s winners listed, but only the top four from this year. I’m curious, that’s all. And since your friend got a mention a year or two back, I figured you might know.

If you got an Honorable Mention they would have surely contacted you. Though the story that won this year really sucked, do not be discouraged. You can always shop that story around and get it published.

Best of luck!

Johnny writes: Dear Shaun, If you could think of the greatest stage name to play under ever, what would it be and could I steal it from you? Love, John

If I could think of the greatest stage name, it would be “The Great Shaun Hatton.” Feel free to steal it from me.