Shannon asks: Is it safe to flush clumping cat litter down the toilet?

Contrary to popular belief, it is COMPLETELY safe¹ to flush ANYTHING YOU WANT² into a toilet. Even items that you think would not even fit in the bowl. Toilets utilize a highly secretive technology that doesn’t even have a pronounceable name. But for discussion’s sake, we will call it the Black Hole/Wormhole phenomenon. When you flush a toilet, it temporarily opens a space/time portal (or wormhole) to another dimension. The contents of the bowl are then sucked by vacuous force right out into that dimension and the wormhole is quickly closed. It is therefore PERFECTLY SAFE³ to flush clumping cat litter down the toilet!

1 - Or not.
2 - As long as it’s human waste or toilet paper.
3 - As long as you have a wormhole toilet and not the regular kind.

Shauna do ya wanna asks: How do I find out who received honourable mentions/runner-up status in the Toronto Star’s short story competition? They still have last year’s winners listed, but only the top four from this year. I’m curious, that’s all. And since your friend got a mention a year or two back, I figured you might know.

If you got an Honorable Mention they would have surely contacted you. Though the story that won this year really sucked, do not be discouraged. You can always shop that story around and get it published.

Best of luck!

Johnny writes: Dear Shaun, If you could think of the greatest stage name to play under ever, what would it be and could I steal it from you? Love, John

If I could think of the greatest stage name, it would be “The Great Shaun Hatton.” Feel free to steal it from me.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 9th, 2005 at 10:29 am and is filed under Questions 'n' Answers. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.